#INeedHumor

ramsareus

Insider
Oct 18, 2019
24
47
So, a Hindu man, a Jewish rabbi and UR tic fan lost there way while walking together on a hike in the mountains. It was dark and cold and they were no where near the trailhead where there cars were. In the distance, they could see a farmhouse with a light on. The 3 knocked on the door and an old farmer answered. The 3 explained they took a wrong turn and were not going to be able to get back to there cars till daylight. They asked if they could stay at the farmhouse for the night to escape the cold. The farmer said "of course, but there is one caveat. I have a small spare bed room and a couch. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."
The Hindu man stepped up and said "I will sleep in the barn. I come from India which is densely populated and living quarters can be cramped at times. This will not be a hardship for me at all." So the rabbi and tic fan headed to sleep in the house while the Hindu man took a blanket and headed to the barn.
2 minutes later there was a knock on the door.
The Hindu man said "My friends, I am sorry to disturb you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a cow in the barn. In my culture, the cow is the most sacred of all creatures. It would be wrong of me to intrude on such a holy creatures living space."
The rabbi immediately stepped up and said. "I understand. I too am religious. I am Jewish and my people have been persecuted for thousands of years. I can handle any adversity and will gladly sleep in the barn." The Hindu guy and Tic fan went back inside and the Rabbi headed to the barn with a blanket.
2 minutes later there was a knock on the door.
It was the rabbi. The rabbi said "I am sorry my friends, but no one told me there was a pig in the barn. In my religion, the pig is the filthiest of animals. It would be sinful and non kosher for me to step foot near such a beast."
So the tic fan said "All right, all right, I will sleep in the barn! If anyone knows adversity, its me. We have had a losing sports program for ions and everywhere I go, people look down on me as an elitist prick. A night in the barn is nothing for me." The tic fan grabbed the blanket and went out to the barn while the rabbi and Hindu man retreated inside the house.
2 minutes later there was a knock on the door.
It was the pig and the cow.
😂
 

VCU85

Top Member
Jan 26, 2016
3,787
5,980
2 marines get on a plane and are seated on each side of an Air Force officer. The Air Force officer slips off his shoes to relax a bit, and catch a few winks during the long flight.

One of the Marines grabs sneakily grabs one of the AF officers shoe, and hocks a big wad of snot into it and quietly slips it back under the seat, winking and snickers to his bud across the seat.

After a bit the Air Force officer stretches, and says he's gonna go forward and ask the stewardess for a beer would either of them like one.

The first Marine says, "that would be great thanks", and the AF officer slips his shoe back on and heads off, coming back a couple minutes later with with his beer, and one for the marine.

They drink their beers, and the AF officer slips his shoes off again to catch some sleep. The second Marine grabs his other shoe, and he hocks some spit in it. A little while later the AF officer says he wants another beer, and can he grab one for either Marine, they both say yeah thanks, he slips his shoes on again, and heads forward, and quickly returns with 3 beers.

The rest of the flight is uneventful, and as they all de plane the Marines say hey have a good one sir, and thanks for the beers, you're aaaaaall right. The AF officers says, "yeah you guys were OK too. It's great we can all get along, recognizing each others differences, and in the future hopefully we can dispense with all this spitting in shoes, and pissing in beer can shenanigans".
 
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urmite

Top Member
Mar 22, 2011
1,847
2,949
So, a Hindu man, a Jewish rabbi and UR tic fan lost there way while walking together on a hike in the mountains. It was dark and cold and they were no where near the trailhead where there cars were. In the distance, they could see a farmhouse with a light on. The 3 knocked on the door and an old farmer answered. The 3 explained they took a wrong turn and were not going to be able to get back to there cars till daylight. They asked if they could stay at the farmhouse for the night to escape the cold. The farmer said "of course, but there is one caveat. I have a small spare bed room and a couch. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."
The Hindu man stepped up and said "I will sleep in the barn. I come from India which is densely populated and living quarters can be cramped at times. This will not be a hardship for me at all." So the rabbi and tic fan headed to sleep in the house while the Hindu man took a blanket and headed to the barn.
2 minutes later there was a knock on the door.
It was the Hindu man. He said "My friends, I am sorry to disturb you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a cow in the barn. In my culture, the cow is the most sacred of all creatures. It would be wrong of me to intrude on such a holy creatures living space."
The rabbi immediately stepped up and said. "I understand. I too am religious. I am Jewish and my people have been persecuted for thousands of years. I can handle any adversity and will gladly sleep in the barn." The Hindu guy and Tic fan went back inside and the Rabbi headed to the barn with a blanket.
2 minutes later there was a knock on the door.
It was the rabbi. The rabbi said "I am sorry my friends, but no one told me there was a pig in the barn. In my religion, the pig is the filthiest of animals. It would be sinful and non kosher for me to step foot near such a beast."
So the tic fan said "All right, all right, I will sleep in the barn! If anyone knows adversity, its me. We have had a losing sports program for ions and everywhere I go, people look down on me as an elitist prick. A night in the barn is nothing for me." The tic fan grabbed the blanket and went out to the barn while the rabbi and Hindu man retreated inside the house.
2 minutes later there was a knock on the door.
It was the pig and the cow.
Does the below count as humor?